Everything happens for a...shut-up.

"Everything happens for a reason."  When something bad happens, why does this seem to be everyone’s “go to” phrase?    Sure, SOME things happen for a reason (a breakup, a change in career), but everything?  I beg to differ.  I know it seems comforting and meant well but I think this should be on the banned list of things to say to people experiencing death, tragedy, illness, etc.  Just don’t.  If you can’t think of anything to say... it is so much better to just be honest and say “I don’t know what to say.”  So many people have said to me “You are young and beautiful, you will find someone else” and I just wanted to scream.  (I shouldn’t have a tongue from biting it so much!)  When I finally heard “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say” I could have kissed the person.   The reason Danny died is because someone shot him.  There is no good reason that anyone could possibly try to explain why he was taken from me, why his life was cut short, why he couldn’t have been saved.   I do believe he was put on this earth for a reason, and accomplished so many great things that he was meant to, but I also believe there was so much more in store for him.  There was so much in store for us. 

The thing that pains me to my core is not having children.  I’m not only grieving the loss of my husband, but also of our unborn babies, who can no longer be.  “You still can”..again..shut-up.  I don’t want any children; I wanted those of mine and my husband, which is no longer possible except through immaculate conception, so, no...I can’t. He would have been the best father and I was so excited for that part of our future, to see him as a Dad.  Now what’s the reason for that? Insert thumb down emoji here.